So bored...
Cannot sleep...
Wanna study....
But so hard!!!
So sleepy...
Still!
Cannot sleep...
Talkin crap!!
Waliou...
KNN!!
Hahahaahah....

So bored at home....
Haiz....
Suppose to go follow my parents....
Tapi...
Not sure sebab onli parents can go....
Suppose to go to my bro's graduate thingy...
But...
In thee end never go....
Haiz so bored...
Boredom so can kill...
Well...
Malas nak blog so...
Later2 lah i go update k...bub bye...

Hi everybody....
Well....today....Slept at 5:00am...
Wake up at 5:30am...
Might as well dont sleep right?
Muahaha...
Well very restless...
Wish i can just sleep rite now....
Actualli can arh....
Hahah....
Rite now in comp lab....
Being disturb by rusee.....
Mcm biaselah tu....
Everyone look busy...
......Looking at blogs and friendster arh......
Well.....update more later...Slamat!!

hey there....

Well...
Saturday....
So bad!!!
The weather dah lah like oven....
Then havta do my maths exam at hall....
There was barely any wind....
Sweating like a pig....
But everytime i turn around....
I see yayang...
Happi...
So happi....
hahah....
Paper 2 soooo....HARD!!!

Then after that...When out japz wit yayang...
Go lib....
Bace VOGUE magazine....
Haha...
Nice...
Bile agaknye nak kahwin??
Well...
I noe someday who i want to be wit...
That someone...
I will wait....
And stay by her side forever...
Never gettin bored...
Sape agaknye???
Heheh....
Tunggu 10yrs...I sent invitation card....
Well see ya ard lah....
Bye bye!!

Aku hanya seorang yang digelar "nerd"
Tetapi...
Suatu hari ini....
Seorang wanita menjumpaku....
Sungguh menawan....
Sungguh Jelita....
Kecantikkan yang boleh mencairkan hati kerasku....
Tak pernah seumur hidup sejak kejadian itu....
Aku terjatuh cinta dgn seorang wanita bernama Syaza Nadia....
Pertama kali kita bersama....
Pertama kali aku diluka....
Die hanya mahu memainkan hatiku....
Tetapi....
Aku tetap mahu menukarkan perangainya....
Akhirnya....
Kite mengambil masa....
Mengenal satu sama lain....
Aku tetap menunggunya.....
Kerana rinduku maseh kepadanya....
Aku maseh tidak berani meminta cintanya....
Tetapi aku tetap menunggu....
Sampai kepada suatu hari....
Kita berjalan-jalan....
Dengan secara tiba-tiba....
Aku mengambil tangannya....

Aku teringat ketika masu itu....
Hanya kami berdua di atas bukit yg hijau....
Kita melihat awan yg putih....
Dengan angkasa biru....
Kita berpeluk....
Mengharap....
Kite akan suatu hari bersama untuk seumur hidup....
Aku menyayangnya....
Kerana hatinya....
Yang tetap bertabah....
Dengan peragai panas baranku.....
Walaupun berapa banyak kali kita bergaduh....
Tidak pernah sekali pon kita dipisah untuk selama-lamanya....
Seperti jodoh menarik kami bersama semula....
Aku kagum melihat die...
Boleh berketawa....Boleh tersenyum....
Waluapun masalah yang dilaluinya susah....
Tetapi...
Semakin lama aku bersamanya....
Semakin aku mengenalnya lebih dalam....
Walaupun aku boleh terlepasnya bila-bila sahaja pon....
Aku tetap akan menunggunya...jikalau aku terlepasnya.....
Aku tetap akan menunggu....
Kerana cinta....
Kerana rindu....

She is all i ever wanted....
All i ever needed....
And....
She don't even know it....

But I luv You....So much....
Can't wait to see your face again....
I miss you....Syaza....Muackiesz.....

Hey there....

Hating myself rite now....
Just hurt my baby gurl....
Wish i turn back time and took those words away....
Why....
But....
Someone has alwaes been telling me....
Don't look back on what you have done....
Instead....
Work with what you have to make it better....
I doubt I can make my situation better....
Those words must hurt a lot my baby....
Wish....
Begging....
You will forgive me....
Take me back into your arms....
Gimme that spine tingling feelings of your kiss....
Your warm hug....
I wish we can relive our dreams....
Our hopes and dreams....
But...
Guess what...
Might not be living that long....
To even see my little cousin grow up....
Well....Tawakal je lah....
Hey....
Huggies and smiles to everyone....
Lub u all....Muackz....
Hehe....
I ask forgiveness from God....
I ask forgiveness from my friends....
I ask forgiveness from my parents....
And I ask forgiveness from my baby Gurl....Syaza
I luv you lotz no matter what happens

Hey, Nadia...
Malam ini ku takkan call...
Aku try berpaling sayang
Dari cintamu

Hey, Nadia
Malam ini ku takkan pulang
Tak usah kau mencari aku,demi cintamu

Hadapilah ini
Kisah kita takkan abadi

Selamat tidur kekasih gelap ku
Semoga cepat kau lupakan aku
Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk melupakanmu

Selamat tinggal kasih tak terungkap
Semoga kau lupakan aku cepat
Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk meninggalkanmu

Pertama kali aku mencintai kau....
Itulah hari yang pertama aku diseksa....
Mengapa terjadi begini....
Apakah salahku terhadapmu....
Adakah aku tidak cukup untukmu....

Teringatku....
Masa dahulu apabila....
Mimpi masa depan kita masih di awan....
Semakin lama masa bergerak....
Semakin jauh mimpi kami....
Aku hanya di dalam mimpi yang menukar menjadi gelap...
Seperti mencari api yang telah dipadam....

Kau tetap tak tau apa yang terjadi di dalam hati ini....
Seperti "Katrina" di dalam hatiku....
Dalam hatiku....
Biarlah terbakar....
Aku tetap diam....
Mungkin dosaku lakukan takkan diampunkan....
Biarlah aku mati di sini....

Having a bad day...
Stress...
O levels...
So near...
The pressure feels like itz a burning sun...
Burning my skin...
Burning my dreams...
Now i feel like i've been left outside alone...
With nobody beside me...
Where is my guardian angel...
Where is she...

Well...
Someone new is there...
A guy...
Trying to steal the one i love...
The one i care...
Hey!
Motherfucker...
You don't know me like that...
Don't push your luck...
When i cant take it...
You'll suffer...
If your love for her is sincere...
I don't mind...
But...
i know...
You have something else in your mind...
Haiz...
Must you go for her?
Did you noe...
I dont like you...
One bit...
I'm telling you something...
Don't step that line...
Or my past will be your future...

6 feet under....

Have you ever hurt anyone?
Have you been hurt...
Have you been cheated by anyone?
Have you cheated someone...
Have you make somebody angry?
Have you lied to a person you love?

If you did...

Pls...

Say soree....

Hey there...
So long never update...
So tired...
Well today...
6 mths anniversary for me and syaza!!!
Hope we will last long!!!

But stress...
O LvL so close...
Like bomb sey...
Tick...tock...Tick...tock!!!

Well...
Today got match against N3O...
Haha..
We WON....
Tanx to the BLunder Donut Keeper!!
HAahaha
Nolah nolah...all very the good!!!
Well...did a blunder...
So the malu leh!!!
At least got catch ball eh...
Stress sey...
Haha...
Where Shida jersey...Since got No. 1...
Score 6-4...
Hahaha....
Goody goody!!!

Hello!!
Feeling nice today....
Nothing bad happen...
Haha...
Quite a sleepy day....
Everone was like half awake....
Lessons seem like hell....
Haha...
Well today nothing...
Just dudok...
Study...
Sleeep....
Haha...
Nothin interesting...
Watch a documentary bout modern time samurai....
Nice....
Nerdy...
But nice....
Ngantok sey....
Tick tock....
Muraso Haramitsu....said...
A way of the samurai....
Is never a way that pleased all...
Hahaha
Rubbish again....
Klah....
Tatz all....
Bye2

So confuse....
Thinking of what happening around me....
Cry everytime i think bout it....
Believing that maybe love don't really exist....
It might just be a word....
Without no feeling....
Listening this song....
Really remind me....
Of my loved one past....
If he ever come back....
Go back to him....
Don't turn back....
Just keep walking....
You might say....
What kind of guy are you??
I'm the guy who wants to see you smile....
As he is your first true love....
No matter how sad i am....
I'll let go a smile....
Give you a wave....
Then when i turn around....
I will cry....
Thinking bout the time we had....
Experience we shared....
Haha....
Well who knows....
Hahaha...
This might happen....
Hey....I'm leaving with my words....
Hide the tears...Let go a smile....everything will be fine....
I want those words craved on my tombstone....
Haha....

Kau sempat ucapkan pisah
Saat kau beranjak pergi
Tapi perasaanku
Tak berpaling darimu

Kau ucapkan jangan pergi
Saat ku datang kembali
Tapi luka ini
T'lah membeku tak mencair

Tahukah kamu semalam tadi aku menangis
Mengingatmu mengenangmu
Mungkin hatiku terluka dalam
Atau selalu terukirkan kenangan kita

Kau telah hadirkan kita
Untuk menggantikan aku
Tanpa kau sadari
Aku takkan pernah mengganti

Kau ingin tinggalkan aku
Dan menyandingku kembali
Ini takkan adil
Untukku ataupun dirinya.....

Even when your hurt...
Don't show it...
Find a way to let out those tears...
So your love ones don't see

Well today was normal...ok ok...
Not that fun...
Well had classes...
Read a book...
All those lame stuff...

Yupz then go home...
At the bus stop...
Saw someone in 912E...
Which made someone SOOO happi...
But itz ok...
I'm cool...
At least someone happi....
I'm happi too i guess....

Yupz check my inbox...woah got tis wicked email from ruC...
Bez...bout the horoscope thingy!
Woah...realli like me sey...CANCER MAN...CHECK IT OUT TAU...
Every point same sey...Cool cool...
Klah...till here....bye2....
Hope EVERYONE HAPPI!!!

PS: Hide the tears...Let go a smile....

Feeling so down...
Heart felt like it was torn in two...
Somebody...
Help me...
I broke down twice today...
Shss....Don tell her...
Haiz...
Itz so eaasy to hurt someone and say soree...
But wat about his heart?
So confused...
Burning the dreams....
I stuck in this small emotional world.....
Fuck myself...
Just sent my useless body to hell...
Itz useless now...
How i hate myself....
Only god will know....
How i hate those guys...
The knife will answer....
Crazy?
Maybe...
What am i to do now....
So confuse...

Tanx Shasha for giving me the listening ear...helps alot...

I can't tolerate my sadness
cause i'm drowning myself
I won't allow any hapiness
To myself...

Am I forced to have any regret?
I've become the lie, the anger, the hater
In my righteous own mind
I adore and preach the insanity i gave

No need the affection, it's only for the weak
No need for sympathy, the misery that is me
On bleeding knees I accept my fate

I've lost the ability to paint the clouds
I'm stuck in this slow-motion dark day

Far away is a place where I hide
the truth that have to be locked away

And so I hear my voice again
The tale of the bitter man, here I am
Shake the silence and hear what it says
The tranquil pride that become the lie

I keeping quiet...
I won't talk...
Enough...
Tatz will be the last word you will hear...
One day...
When the limit had been push...
I'll start my old life...
Which nobody know...
Tatz life...
Hide my pain...
Hide everything...
I had enough time talking...
Treat me anyway you want...
Do what ever you want...
I'm you want to make me angry....
Go ahead...
Nothin i do is gonna change anything...
Well...Well...Well

When the days.....
Where darkness and silent through the night...
I'm searching through the mountain for you....
Fearing the worst....
I did my lie...
Not for honour...
But for you...
I know...
If i lie to you...
Pain comes back...

Hey guys...
Just emo a little...
Bored sey...
Well today nothin much...
Got nothin to say lah....
But itz Shasha bdae!!!
My Adeqnye bdae....
Lotsa wishes from me...
K Gdluck in everything u want....

Well....tu je arh...
BYE!

Hello guyz....
I been wondering...
Does anybody actually read my blog....
Hahaha....
Tag lah...if you got read...Haha

Well!
Today is my birthday....
Bez....the galz singing my bdae song....
Class singing me bdae song....
Malu a lil bit...
Ok ok arh...
Hahaha...
Got onli $20 from my dad....Siket! Takpe arh....Janji ikhlas....
Then....
I got this stitching from Syaza....
Wow so nice...
Haha....
SO much beauty!!
REalli tanx yayang....
Appreciate it a lot...
Didn't expect it niwez tau....

Well today quite nice....
Quite pleasant....
Skool...
Got the counsillor thingy....MEREPEK...
Peeps were all playing around...
I was just reading lime the whole way....
During english...
DAMN FUNNY!
Waliou...
Danny fell down from the chair....
When he was disturbing Cliff....
WAT GOES ARD CUMS ARD!
Haha...
Well rite so tired....
Waiting for yayang msg....
Hehe...
Letz hope my prepaid tahan...
Klah...realli feeling so the dizzy....
Bub bye everyone....

I'll leave tis quote....
Have you thought about someone you love....
Have you thought about someone you hate....
If you thought about both...then....
ITz tyme you learn....
FORGIVE AND FORGET!!

Hey!
Waddup...haven't update past these few days....
When through lotz....
Realli tired...
BUT!
No more stress....
BUT!
Sway....
Tomorrow skool open....
Plz someone...
Burn the skool....
Hahaha
Kidding....kidding....
Realli hungry rite now....
trying to tahan my appetite...
MUS GO ON DIET!!!
Fatty fatty me!
Man! My babat...Mcm big mac siol!
Well...today...
Just go madrasah in the morning...
Realli fun!
Then after that....
At home only....
lepak-lepak....
Tahan lapar...
That kinda stuff...
Man....i'm realli not ready for O lvl....
Plz someone...
Shoot me in the head....
Hahas....
Stress now!
But....
Will try my bez....
Proof the policeman wrong!!!
Bloody HELL!!
But looking forward to ALLOWANCE!!! MONEY!!!
I'm broke....
Haha....
So i diet can save money!!!
And the bez thing rite now is!
*Jeng...Jeng...Jeng*
My birthday tomorrow!!!!
NC-16 here i come!!!
hahas....merepek me....
But...realli sway....today...
Just check my friendster...MY TESTI ARE ALL MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEAR!!!

Everything...
That we went through...
All the pain...
We went through...
Just end like this...
Great isn't it...
Wow!
5mths....
Ended this way....
Don't you just love it....
hahaha....
Because of peoples mouth...
This happens...
Sux rite...
Wow....
realli feel like going back to my past....
I want to be emotionless....

Why....
Its so sad....
People mouth....
They're pushing me....
I want to see their blood flow on the ground....
See them suffer....
Cut them up....
Slowly....
See them scream....
Oh...
What a wonderful sight it will be....
Don't you just love it....
You made me suffer....
For the past 16 years.....
I'll make sure you suffer....
For the next 16 years....
From now on....
You all won't recognize me anymore....

Hey...
Happy 5 mths anniversary for me....
Not so happyy though....
It feels so cold....
I feel like giving up....
Fighting something i can't see....
The word "everlasting" seems to fade away....
Feeling so down....
Really....cannot help it....
Sadness everyday....
Being threated so coldly....
By the person....
Who i thought was the sun to my dark life....
I guess...
God really have a funny way....
Of making happy dreams....
BAD...
I want to just disappear....
Some people just don't see their mistake....
Always thinking he'll be standing there....
But really....
I can't take this treatment...
What is happening to you....
Pls someone just tell me!
Fuck off...
Piss off...
I really got to stop crying....
Wishing that....
She become to the woman I fell in love with....
Pls....
If your there pls come back....
I want the woman who i fall in love with....
Please........

Hey there....
Just scolded by my mum....
Argh....
Nev mind....
Fuh....Dah lame tak update nowadayz realli malas sey....

Just now main baminton like crazy....
I on the edge of colapsing....
So tired sia....

Tomorrow my favourite day....lets hope no one destroy that...
But today was realli fun....
Yesterday wasn't so much....
Got my problems arh....
Common....quite use to it....

Then today...gave my lovely one...
A poem...and a letter....
Plus a gift....
Haha....
She happy....
So nice to see her smile....

Rite well just listening to songs....
Especially this song...
Kenangan Terindah....By Samsons...
Itz realli nice here's a quote i like:
Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupmu
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah....

Quite nice lah eh the tune slow....
Klah till here....
And yayang...You realli owe me testi on friendster!!!
I'm waiting!!
Check my nice skin tau....
Bub bye people...

P.S. I love you syaza....And i'm losing weight...tanx to badminton...

Dah...I wanna sleep ",

Hello!!!
Been so long i update....
So tired...
So busy sia...
Been listening to KENANGAN TERINDAH...
So nice the song!!!
Listen! Listen! Those jiwang peeps!

Today nothing much...
When to thee movies!!
Hahaha....Watch almost love....
OMG!! so sweet you know...
Gotta watch even if itz korean....
Itz realli romantic and FUNNY!!
Hehe....did some mischievious thing in the cinema...
Fun...

Then go...
SO bored!!....
Noone was around so....
Sneak a few ice-cream into my mouth!
Man....
I gotta control my appetite....
I'm eating like a pregnant woman....

FATTY!! FATTY!! ME!!!

Feeling so ever down..........
Hey!!!
You are treating me like SHIT!!!!

Hey there...
Me again...
just laying around rite now...
Already pack...
SO READY to go to Sarawak...
Hehe...
So long never take plane...
Then today...
So boring...
Nothing to do...
Got work...
But
I have no idea what to do...
Hahas...

Walking through the rain....
He wonders...
What is he doing....
All those messages....
Sent...
Never reply...
Have the love been destroyed...
By that person...
Who she made time for....
She will never have the time for that guy...
He's confuse....
What the fuck is happening he ask....
Why is there time for that guy....
But never for him...
He wonders...
Is this because of all the things he done in the past...
Hurting his family...
Friends....
Himself....
He wants to know...
IS this one-sided....
He wants to go back to his past...
Stay and never come back...
Will she care...
He doubt so...
She will care more for that guy...
Now he dispise him...
He wants to just dissapear...
In the cold night sky....
Seeing the concrete come near...
Seeing his life past by....
All the things he have done to everyone....
He just said sorry...
Hoping they will forgive his sins...
Hoping she move on...
Happy life....
To him...
His life is nothing....
He live by his words...
Hide the tears...
Let go a smile...
Everything will be fine...
People will think his a coward...
But...
What he have gone through...
Cuts his heart into two...
Even when it heals...
The scars haunt him...
He just want to see his blood flow away....
Giving joy to all who love to hurt him...
I don't mind....
He just want that to be his last gift to everyone...
And a thanks to all who help him....

The perfect woman...
You don't have to be beautiful....
You don't have to be perfect bodied...
You don't have to be sexy...
This all doesn't matters...
I would like someone knows the heart...
And don't forget wear the heart is...
Never break the heart....
Never want to see the tears of her guy....
Know whats rite...
Whats wrong....
Don't hurt her guy....
Itz ok if you are bad temper....
Itz ok if you are shy...
Itz ok if you are open...
As long there's the word like...
Itz ok to me....
Then we will word together...
To make the word to love....

Hehehe....Big smilez everyone

Hide the tears...
Let go a smile...
Everything will be fine...

My Ideal woman....

She dont have to be pretty...
She dont have to be perfect...
As long she have the heart...
My heart is hers...
Is love forever?
One ask me....
I dont know....
I think...
If you want love to last...
Dont give up...
Fight...
Die for it....
Sure enough...
Love will last...
Marriage doesnt mean that the fight has ended....
You have to fight...
And fight....
And fight....
Till there's no more fight in you...
Goodluck to all those fighting the war....
Of the LOVE....

Hey hey!!
Watsup people....
Well my eye hurts rite now...hahas....
Kena smack by my bro...
Cuz he say i "RUDE"
Fuckin moron....
hahas...
Niwez...
Today mother tongue pape was so hard...
My hands were cold....
Like on ganja or somethin...
Then when home to change...
Go somewhere....
Home rite now...
Tired...
Waiting for her to reply...
So slow...
And Cliff....
Relax...
The worst is not yet there...
Hahahaha....
Klah klah...
Tired ah...
Wanna go bath....

Truely hurt....

He's truely hurt....
By the one he least expect to hurt him this much....
He wonders...
Shud he forgive the one he loves?
Is the one he loves a fake?
Are all the words said fake?
Are all the kisses have no meaning?
He wants the easy way out....
The one he loves lied to him...
The lowers way a person can deceive him...
He just wish he can die....
He just wish that god will take his life away...
He just want his suffering to end...
He's confuse...
He feel everyone just want to hurt him...
It must fun to hurt him...
Like a game or somesort...

He can't seem to trust her...
She seems to be hiding something...
He dunnoe...
Is it his mind playing tricks on him?
Or is what he is thinking true??
Dilemma is falling on him...
He's really confuse...
In front he smile...
Behind...
He is truely hurt...
She don't this....
That he is truely hurt....

Hello!!
Me again...
Wah...
So tired....
When out with yayang and her bro....
FUn...fun lah...
Tired...Very...very tired....
Got a new t-shirt gonna wear to sarawak...
Hahaha....
Can't siak....
So long never take plane....
Hmm...
So much thoughts...
Its clouding my mind so much....
Haha...
Klah see you all later.....
Kene mandi arh...
Mother bising!!!

Hi everyone!!
Hehe....
Realli bored rite now....
Wishin u were rite here now....
Missin ur huggies!!

Well today was kinda fun...
Ate a lot at mother tongue intensive....
Stress sey....
Monday O LVL!!!
Fcuk...
Hehehe....
I'm totally not prepare for....

Then afta skool when to lib...
Read some magazines...
Oh my god...
I wish i had a car....
so cool....
Can show off....
Hahaha....

Ok...ok...back to reality....
tomorrow yayang goin Johor!!!
Alah...
Then me be lonely...
I'm Mr lonely...
I hav nobody....
Nobody want me...Eeeee...
Heheh....
So staying home...
Lepak-lepak...
Study peribahasa or what....
heheh...
Tatz all i hav plan for....
So c ya all tomorrow....
Bye2....

Hey there....
Me again...
Today is tuesday...
For all those who's still lost in time...
Today fun really really fun!!!
Kacau yayang like crazy...
Rite now nothin much...
Just surfing through net...
Tengok2 friendster...
Hehe...
Cute yayang...
Me looking at the pictures i took of her...
Haha...
She's a beauty...
I'm ugly...
Beauty n the beast hahaha

Why?
I'm so confuse...
Why?
You know it hurts me...
But you still do it...
Do you care?
Do you love me?
Why?
I'm so confuse...
you treat me like heaven then you want to sent me to hell...
But what the hell...
Who am i to say this to you...
The word that i will say will have no meaning...
Cuz u dont treat me like one...

Hey there!!!
Me again....
Hahaha....
Kind of sad....
Hahahah...
Still stuck to crucify my love...
Still piss off...
Anniversary..still can do ths stuff wit those buaye....
damn it arh...
Irritatin...

Halo!!
Today is monday for all those whu is lost in time....
Nothin much at skool...
had mother tongue intensive...
Fun...
Dun noe why people say not fun....
To me fun cuz got FOOD!!!

Then after that makan at canteen afta skool...
First i see the guys go home so fast...
Must be goin somewhere...
Hahahah....
But today...felt a little down...
Becuz of one action...
Hahaha....
I'm just too sensitive...
Nev mind...
Itz ur life do what u want...
Berani buat...Berani tanggung...
So tatz all....
So BYE!!

Hey there...
Sunday evening rite now....
God only knows what i'm feeling....
Been listening to sad songs continuously....
Shed a few tears...
I don't i kind of hook to Crucify My love....
Itz jus so sad....
Really...
Seriously...
i tink even guys will cry to this song...
If they understand the lyrics...
Hahaz....
The piano jus make it really sad...
Ask Jee...
Hahaz....
Today...
Done nothin much but laze around....
Lil kuzzies...
Screaming and fighting...
What to do....
Kids...
So brought them to Causeway point...
Bought them ice-cream....
Hehe...
Then they all go kiddy palace...
Wah Liao...
Plz remid me not to bring them there...
GOD!!
I want this....I want that...
Man....Kids really want everything...
Even some expensive plastic(TOYS)
Hahaha...
Well thats all from adventure of man donut today...
I'll end with a chorus...

Crucify my love...If my love is blind...
Crucify my love...If it sets me free...
The shadows of the sky...
Wondering...
Is it a crime to love...

Motherfucking people...
Wat the fuck...every thing i do is wrong...
Even i do it properly...wrong!...
CB kia....
Fucck....
KKNCCB.......
Hey...i don need u all lah!!!

Itz so irritatin...
I can't keep nothing no more....
God...
Help me....
Just take my life away...

What are you doing behind me.....
Why don't you show it to me.....
Maybe you're no longer who you used to be.....
Maybe that feeling has departed.....
And maybe if one day we met again....
One thing I ask of you....
Please don't question me again....
There is no need for you to ask again.....
Keep it all to yourself.....
All the guilt you're looking for.....
All the feeling you have given.....
I know it all....
And I'll keep it too...

There are some who hate her
There are some who need her
There are some who fall on their knee loving her
There are also some who cruelly torture her

This is the live of the butterfly of the night
Working risking all of her
A smile on their lips, soft seducing words
To all of those who came
Is it a sin she is committing
Are those who came saints
At times she smiles in her tears
At times she cries in her smile

Let whatever happens happen.
What she know is that God loves his people
Let whatever happens happen.
All that she knows is how to stay alive

Trust is so easily lost....
I don't know what to do now....
Does promises mean anything???
I kind of gave up on promise....
There's no such thing....
Itz jus rubbish....
Rite?

I don't know what to think...
There's so much pain...
I feel like crying...
But i'll will not let a single tear drop....
I just want to die...
I don't care if anybody says i'm a coward...
I want the easy way out...

Kerinduan yang dirasa....
Tidak berguna lagi....
Aku dah tak tahu apa yang nak dikatakan...
Aku mahu hilang dalam pekat malam...
Emosi yang tak guna...

So much pain......
Go on....
I don't care....
I'll enjoy it.....

I'm so confuse.....
I don't know what to do....
Tears keep forming....
I'm really suffering....
I won't tell nobody....
What I'm going through....
I shud live by the word....
Hide the tears...
Let go a smile...
Everything will be fine...
I'll hide my tears...
Go on without showing pain...

Haiz...My day spoilt again...TANX PEOPLE!!
Fcuking ass....
Nag...nag...nag....
Thats all she noe....
Haiz...at least i hav my yayang to turn too...
N my new phone....
Yeepee!!! Finally...waited so long...u can ask amir...
Klah..wanna go makan maggi....
So long & goodnite.....

Aku tetap bercuba...
Aku tak nak membuka mataku...
Melihat kau tiada disisiku...
Walaupun aku marah...Aku tetap sayangimu...sepenuh hatiku...
Kau seolah-olahnya...kekasihku yang tersatu...
Yang menyayangi...
Yang memberi pelukkan ketika masa hampa...
Yang memberi ciuman manis apabila berasa sedih...
Yang akan memarahiku jika salah dilakukan ku...
Aku mahu kau disisiku...
Hingga terakhir...
Aku akan menjagamu...
Sesiapa yang membuatmu nanggis...aku akan membuat mereka nanggis...Walaupun aku pernah membuat kau nanggis...
Aku meminta maaf...
Aku tak sengaja...
Apa-apa yang diminta kan ku memberi...
Kerana aku cinta kepada mu...Syaza Nadia...

Evening everyone...
very tired today...
Spend almost my whole day with sayang...
Hahaha....Spend half the money i brought...
I just a heavy spender...Always spend..spend..spend...
Hahas...Brought mother's day gift for my mum and sayang's mum....
We spent like...almost 2hr choosing the beads...Made them some hp keychain ah...Hahaha...
Ate at cavana today....SEDAP!!
But i'm so hungry rite now...

Haiz...
But somethings troubling me...
I just don't understand...
Sometimes some people just won't give up...
They keep doing it...
Irritating...
Hey fella...
You reading tis...
Don't pushit...
Or some unsanitize shit will drop...

World is goin so weird....
People change from good to bad....
I don't know what the fcuk is happening...
Hahas...
I'm the one worrying...
I should be worrying bout myself...
Sometimes...
I wonder...
Did i make a right decision?
Did i make a good decision?
Will my decision haunt me...
Shall i just lie about it...

Di hentian ini ,Tertinggal dalam kesunyian
Di hentian ini ,Bermacam bayang menjelma
Kau nyalakan cinta
Terbakar jiwa yang begini
Kau curahkan rasa
Hanyut dilautan api

Cries will never be heard....
You will never understand me....
Nobody will understand what i'm going through....
I'll hide it with my smiles.....
I'll cry in my heart and not show it....
I will live by the phrase.....
Promise is just a word...
Nobody can keep their word....

I don't know what to feel anymore....
I don't knowwhat to do anymore....
Sadness overwhelm me....
Pain cuts through like a dagger.....
For now i will silence my voice.....

hiya....
Realli2 wasnt a good day...
Ingatkan nak kluar ngan die...Ade family outing lak die...
hahaha...takpe arh...
but then sometimes she nowadays realli mcm nak layan me...
I can be in msn for 2 hours...and she wudn't even just nudge me....
hahaha....guess she suke layan orang lain arh....
Promises seems nothing to her....
haiz....
Ape nak jadik.....

Hiaz...Such a day....
the pain....hidden behind my smiles...
fake smiles...believed by people...
i wish is was dead...the sadness in me...
listening to sad songs...an addiction to me....
Fills rivers through the night....
the endless rain...as if itz listening to my sadness...
it rains...when i'm sad...
some people think that..They can judge me through looks...
But my black past...only one will know...
People think its easy...guess some dreams are just meant to be lost....
Nowadays...sadness surrounds me...as if a deadly disease which is killing me slowly...
Waiting for the one to make me smile again...
And waiting...
And waiting...

3 chances tatz all he can give....
2 had been taken....
1 is left....

He's thinkin...wat if last chance had been taken?
He must choose.....
He cries at night...feeling the pain...

Love had made a deep internal wound....
Outside he is tryin to show to the medic he's ok
He will fight the war....
Until the time comes and a bullet is in his head....

Pain...

Hello!!!!!
So long i haven't update ahahahaha....
How my peeps??
HAHAHAH
Dah lame tak hang ngan korg...soree.....BZ arh...aku kene blaja arh...n not mengotek eh....
HAHAHAH
Today...nothin much....when to her house to study...hehe....her dad was there scary!!!...tapi the more i look at him...he looks like dad....Then study chem and hist...Why ppl think that hist is so confusing n hard...to me...like kinda fun once u noe the story...ahahaha

Then got a realli painful news break to me...somethin bout promise
but i won't talk bout it here...hahahah nanti korg ingat emo sgt....
But jus imagine if u promise someone u wont do it again...do u realli mean it?
Is it worth it to loss the trust of someone jus becuz of a sms??
guess it is....hahaha.....don care niwez...wats done is done cannot turn back tyme....
i learned that already...N i learn that....PROMISES ARE JUS WORDS THAT WILL NEV BE KEPT........ByE2!!

C ya soon.....

Why u leave me...
after what we've gone through...
how could u leave me like tis....
i nev meant to hurt u...
i dunnoe if i hurt u...but if i did i'm soree....
I was selfish...i was too overprotective.....
I understand...forget me..k

Why u treating me like shit!!

It feels like no one in the world is listenin,
and I can't ever seem to make the right decisions.
I walk around in the same haze,
I'm still caught in my same ways.
I'm losing time in these strange days,
but somehow I always know the right things to say.

Do i believe what i can't see?
and how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause i can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the pain.
And just when I think I know, there she goes....

I'm still smiling as the day goes by,
and how come nobody ever knows the reasons why?
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see.
If your like me, who wears a broken heart on your sleeve,
Pains and struggles that you know so well,
Either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell.
I'm not the type to say i told you so,
Sometimes...lovin a person is to let go of them...

And you can sing until there's no song left
And I can scream until the world goes deaf
For every other word left unsaid....I'm soree....

Why u treating me like shit!!

It feels like no one in the world is listenin,
and I can't ever seem to make the right decisions.
I walk around in the same haze,
I'm still caught in my same ways.
I'm losing time in these strange days,
but somehow I always know the right things to say.

Do i believe what i can't see?
and how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause i can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the pain.
And just when I think I know, there she goes....

I'm still smiling as the day goes by,
and how come nobody ever knows the reasons why?
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see.
If your like me, who wears a broken heart on your sleeve,
Pains and struggles that you know so well,
Either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell.
I'm not the type to say i told you so,
Sometimes...lovin a person is to let go of them...

And you can sing until there's no song left
And I can scream until the world goes deaf
For every other word left unsaid,

My Will

If i die....I just want all u peeps that i live in a life that is so unknown to ppl....
Maybe i die with no pain...Who noes....
Sayang...jus want u to noe how much i love u..there's no words that can decribe it...
I'm soree if we fight...
mayb itz my fault....
Don cry for me anymore....
Itz ok i'm very use to it....
Mayb...
We'll meet each other again somewhere....
But DON WORRY...
Tis is jus a pre-caution.....Jus IN CASE I GO...

Tears that fell are useless....

Watching the stars till they're gone.
Like an actor all alone.
Acting in his own twisted life...
Who will ever know the story he was in.
Who will ever know how the story ends....
Like the sky reflecting his heart.
All the colours become visible.
When the morning begins, He'll read the last line...
The last line who he doubt anybody will care....

loneliness of your silenced whisper....

I hear a knock on the door,

closing in on my eyes,

lost in the consciousness is your whisper,

Over coming a melting heart,

a faded portrait reflects my disappearing memories.

At once and still chaotic,

hateful black heart,

closes in on me.

A sharp, transient feeling,

in a single wave,

becomes a hysterical wind.

Stopping tears and held in feelingsin a colourless silence.

I've nothing to lose,

except your heart.

Blood flows from your wrists and body

into the distant seas of time....

Will the past repeat itself again??

I'll never walk alone again,
the winds of time are to strong.
Ah, it's that what you hurts,
which you'll have to live with...
Ah, this tight embrace,
and this burning,
unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time,
love will never change.
Will you hold my heart?
Stop flowing tears.
Again, all of my heart is broken....

No need to be hurt no more

Oh? I'm looking at you,
can't control myself
nothing but pain for me.
Wipe your tears,
from your eyes.
Just leave and forget me.

No need to be hurt anymore.
Go away from me now,
I didn't know, what is love?
No need to be hurt anymore

You said "I miss you so much."
Every night, thinking of you,
and facing loneliness.
But when you feel sadness, n
ever can I stay with you.
I'm not the one you need.

Close your eyes and forget me.
There's nothing I can do anymore.
I've lost my way...
I've been walking in the night of tears.
There, I found someone was holding you.
As the night was all falling down.
With my love also vanished my vision of you...
My heart is cold now.
Wipe your tears,
from your eyes.
Just leave,
and forget me.
No need to be hurt,
anymore.

.

Hurt so much...

Wipe your tears falling down...
from your eyes, and forget me.
No need to be hurted anymore.
Go away from me now ...

I don't know, what is love?
No need to be hurted anymore.
Oh, I'm looking at you. I
I'll lose control of myself.

Hey there....
I'm so.....so.....so bored...haiz....sleepy too
Jus now came home from skool...nev go MT choice....
Then bought a new skool shoe....YEAH!!!!finally...had been wearin that same old pair of adidas shoe for 2 yrs already...hehehe..NGAH NAZAK tat shoe....Haiz....Still very stresss.....VERY STRESS!!...I wanna scream!!....AH!!!!.....taday she got scolded by her parents....for something she did not do...Haiz...i worry bout her...tried callling but her prepaid low already...haiz....if u read tis sayang plz call my handphone..haven't heard u for hours

Cryin in deep red.....

Amir......Like i said.....Everythings seems fine but...wat goes on underneath me ....only i will noe...

My heart...
Is breaking apart...
When is my time to go...
When will you take it away?
I wanna go rest...
In peace...
6 feet under or deeper...
Living in the valley of the shadow...
Where my past will be the treasure of my twisted and mangle wreckage.....Of my life...

Still bleeding...internally

Hey there....

I'm feeling realli bored rite now....In F&N class....people are like all doin their work except me...TOO STRESS!!!! HEHE......Haiz...jus sms her...didn't reply...she must be bz...don wanna disturb her....HAiz....nowadayz people are always bz.....Wat to do....Feeling very down nowadays...She sometimes giving me the cold shoulder....I dunnoe why...I made a mistake...i'm sorry....I never meant to do it...U made mistakes too...I just undrstand...Am i living in a one sided love world???

Silenced Jealousy

I'm looking for you,
trying to reach your roses,
carried away by the time.

Playing with the silent madness.
You've gone away from the stage,
leaving no words,
there's just fake tears left.

Looking for that bouquet of roses
that are admired through false pearls.
I'm blind insane,
in the red of silence,
now I've lost your love

Look at me,
I'm stained to my fingertips in deep red.
I can't stand this song of silence.
Flowing into the sea of phantom images.
Even if I hold my heart,
the blood stained angel that has arisen.
I cannot stop.

Silent jealousy,
don't you leave me alone.
Falling into sadness,
adored by love,
that I can't return to.
Into this repetitive solitude.
Tell me true,
where ever I go,
I must learn to love this pain.
I still want your love,
stop your love.
Silence the memories where the madness grows.

Silent jealousy,
fall into a dream.
Keep holding on to the memory,
to the dream.
Silent jealousy,
don't you leave me alone.
Fading into sadness
... kill me love....

Hurt me!!!

In endless rain, I've been walking.
Like a poet feeling pain
Trying to find the answers,trying to hide the tears.
But it was a circle that never ends.
When the rain stops, I'll turn the page, the page of the first chapter...

I'm only hurt.
Hurt me.The answer I should have understood.
Why am I still asking the question.

Am I wrong to be hurt?
Am I wrong to feel pain?
Am I wrong to be in the rain?
Am I wrong to wish the night won't end?
Am I wrong to cry?
But I know, it's not wrong to sing the last song,
cause forever fades...

Endless rain embraced me.
Night approaches morning, my heart is not yet soaked.
I'm only hurt.
Hurt me.
The answer I should have understood.
Why am I still asking the question.......

Tears

Where do we go after we're separated
Now that hanging question has passed
On an endless night, I dreamt of a journey
I gazed at the foreign skiesand embraced the loneliness
Tears always flow with the winds of time
It's not over, feel your sigh.

Dry your tears with love
Loneliness, your silent whisperfills a river of tears through the night
Memory, you never let me cry and you, you never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates,never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart

X-Japan.....Song....TEARS....

Sunset

the sun seems so beautiful rite now...
Glowing in its red ring which is like a thousand rubies....
I wish i'm with you rite now.....

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by. As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me. You're just an illusion. When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep.

The dream is over. I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words. Floating off tear stained walls. So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...until I can forget your love.

the endless rain caught me unguarded....Witout a umberella

Today can never be worst.......Sayang kept talkin bout her ex.....Made me a little jealous....But maybe she's jus missin him a little....then it rained so heavily.....as if the weather knew what was goin in my head......As i walk alone home.....I kept thinkin about the song endless rain*....i felt like cryin....I'm walking in the rain, though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason.....

I ask myself.....
Why mus the endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul....

I shud had died today......

Hey there...feelin soo down today.....Sayang got PMs today...so guess whu suffer ah...Me!! Again....So kind to try n help her...but she get mad at me...dun blame her....PMS mah....mood swing all tis crap...talk to shahrul bout PMS...WAT IF GUYS HAV IT....How violent the world can be.....Then jus jus finish talkin to sayang on the phone.....I loss my temper as...she keep acting "pekak"......CONTINOUSLY.....then she put down.... i called her again..then she suddenly mood swing...She got at me...and slam thephone on me...jus as i ask he what she doin....haiz...Shud hav jus fall off the ledge.....

secrets....

secrets....i cant keep that....but she can.....why.....?? i dunnoe......sometimes she so weid...sometimes she is so nice...sometimes she is so evil to me....i dunnoe.....is she ok??....sometimes itz jus so difficult....my friends...my life....itz jus so hard....i jus wish..i can jus be emotionless......

Crucify My Love

Crucify my love - If my love is blind
Crucify my love - If it sets me free
Never know, Never trust
That love should see a color
Crucify my love - If it should be that way

Swing the heartache - Feel it inside out
When the wind cries - I'll say good bye
Tried to learn, Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer - Is this forever

Like a river flowing to the sea
You'll be miles away, and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain
No reason to cry

'Til the lonliness shadows the sky
I'll be sailing down and I will know
I know I can clear the clouds away
Oh is it a crime to love

Swing the heartache - Feel it inside out
When the wind cries - I'll say good bye
Tried to learn, Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer - Is this forever

When will my rain stop

I believe if time passes. ..everything turns into beauty, if the rain stops, tears clean the scars of memory away ... everything starts wearing fresh colours ... every sound begins playing a heartfelt melody ..jealousy embellishes a page of epic, desire is embracing a dream, but my mind is still in chaos and...

My Blue Blood

My face is covered with blood. There's nothing but pain, passing closest to pleasure.
I can't tell where I'm going to. I'm running all confused. Death himself is coming.
Then I see you standing there, can do nothing but run away. Following you in my dream.
Look out! I'm raving mad. You can't stop my sadness.The first dream is beginning to flow.I'll slice my face, covered with blue blood.Give me some more pain.Give me throws of death.
Tears melt in blue blood. A blurry, reincarnated form of desire.
Now a frightened lonely heart seeks to wander with the passing of dreams.
Dance to the sad tragedy as a phantom. On the awakening form of the stage.
My eyes overflow again To disappear, throw away love's gleaming replica.
Tears melt in blue blood. A blurry, reincarnated form of desire.
Blue tears dance to the tragedy of solitude.

As my heart continues to be soaked.

i'LL MAKE HIS LIFE A DAMN LIVING HELL!!!!!

DEATH TO HIM.....

Fuck today....I don need you...NO BROTHERHOOD EXIST!!!!!!
HE THINKS HE SO GOOD!!!
HE POLICE SO WAT!!
INVADE PRIVACY!!HE THINKS HE ABOVE THE LAW WE'LL SEE!!
I CANT LET THIS CONTINUE....

So cute lah you sayang!!!!

Ello everyone....
Itz was sports day today...
Quite tiring sey.....But reallli realli fun hahahaha
Sayang got rashes somewhere in the middle of sports day hehe.....
So cute sey...like natural blusher hehehe.....so kidda try to help her...damp my cloth then try to cool her down....hehehe....then Ana tok her to sick bay hehe.....kena punch by her hehehe..."Tak JAGE DIE baik-baik!!!" hehehe.....I was so desperate to find something to fan her...so i use my class T arh...hehehe improvice they say...smart eh me....hehehe.....well actualli thatz all tha actually interesting thing that happen eheheheh...Chowz till then....

My forever love.....Sygku

Your friendship and love,

And all the wonderful things

That they bring into my life,

Are like nothing else I have ever known.

My heart is complete

With the love we share,

And our love grows more

Beautiful each day.

I love you,

And as long as we are together,

I have everything I need.

You are with me always...In a smile,

a memory,

a feeling

Or a moment we share.

You will always be

My Forever Love

The perfection in my eyes

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
And for us to be together, to never be apart.
No one else in the world can even compare,

You're perfect and so is this love that we share.
We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,

I'll do anything for you as long as I live.
In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me I know we will last.
I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

Onto the seaI sailed my boat
And prayed that it
Would stay afloatFrom dawn til dusk

From dusk til dawn
In search of love
I drifted on

What happened then
I don't recallI think it was
A sudden squall

For when I awoke
I thought
I died
At the sight of an angel
At my side
But lucky for me
That was not true
For I found love
And love was you.

My endless rain.....

There is only nothing. Just kill me now ... as I roam forever. Until I can forget your love.
To me sleep is a confusing, narcotic that only quiets the beating heart. All my love seems to flow from my body like a heart felt memory. I keep my love for you to myself.

Endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul. Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness,

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by. As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me. You're just an illusion. When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep. I'm a rose blooming in the desert.

It's a dream, I'm in love with you. Hold me warmly in your arms. I awake from my dreamI can't find my way without you

The dream is over. I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words. Floating off tear stained walls. So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...until I can forget your love.

Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul. Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness. Endless rain, let me stay a memory in your heart. Let me take in your tears, take in your memories.