hiya....
Realli2 wasnt a good day...
Ingatkan nak kluar ngan die...Ade family outing lak die...
hahaha...takpe arh...
but then sometimes she nowadays realli mcm nak layan me...
I can be in msn for 2 hours...and she wudn't even just nudge me....
hahaha....guess she suke layan orang lain arh....
Promises seems nothing to her....
haiz....
Ape nak jadik.....

Hiaz...Such a day....
the pain....hidden behind my smiles...
fake smiles...believed by people...
i wish is was dead...the sadness in me...
listening to sad songs...an addiction to me....
Fills rivers through the night....
the endless rain...as if itz listening to my sadness...
it rains...when i'm sad...
some people think that..They can judge me through looks...
But my black past...only one will know...
People think its easy...guess some dreams are just meant to be lost....
Nowadays...sadness surrounds me...as if a deadly disease which is killing me slowly...
Waiting for the one to make me smile again...
And waiting...
And waiting...

3 chances tatz all he can give....
2 had been taken....
1 is left....

He's thinkin...wat if last chance had been taken?
He must choose.....
He cries at night...feeling the pain...

Love had made a deep internal wound....
Outside he is tryin to show to the medic he's ok
He will fight the war....
Until the time comes and a bullet is in his head....

Pain...

Hello!!!!!
So long i haven't update ahahahaha....
How my peeps??
HAHAHAH
Dah lame tak hang ngan korg...soree.....BZ arh...aku kene blaja arh...n not mengotek eh....
HAHAHAH
Today...nothin much....when to her house to study...hehe....her dad was there scary!!!...tapi the more i look at him...he looks like dad....Then study chem and hist...Why ppl think that hist is so confusing n hard...to me...like kinda fun once u noe the story...ahahaha

Then got a realli painful news break to me...somethin bout promise
but i won't talk bout it here...hahahah nanti korg ingat emo sgt....
But jus imagine if u promise someone u wont do it again...do u realli mean it?
Is it worth it to loss the trust of someone jus becuz of a sms??
guess it is....hahaha.....don care niwez...wats done is done cannot turn back tyme....
i learned that already...N i learn that....PROMISES ARE JUS WORDS THAT WILL NEV BE KEPT........ByE2!!

C ya soon.....

Why u leave me...
after what we've gone through...
how could u leave me like tis....
i nev meant to hurt u...
i dunnoe if i hurt u...but if i did i'm soree....
I was selfish...i was too overprotective.....
I understand...forget me..k

Why u treating me like shit!!

It feels like no one in the world is listenin,
and I can't ever seem to make the right decisions.
I walk around in the same haze,
I'm still caught in my same ways.
I'm losing time in these strange days,
but somehow I always know the right things to say.

Do i believe what i can't see?
and how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause i can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the pain.
And just when I think I know, there she goes....

I'm still smiling as the day goes by,
and how come nobody ever knows the reasons why?
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see.
If your like me, who wears a broken heart on your sleeve,
Pains and struggles that you know so well,
Either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell.
I'm not the type to say i told you so,
Sometimes...lovin a person is to let go of them...

And you can sing until there's no song left
And I can scream until the world goes deaf
For every other word left unsaid....I'm soree....

Why u treating me like shit!!

It feels like no one in the world is listenin,
and I can't ever seem to make the right decisions.
I walk around in the same haze,
I'm still caught in my same ways.
I'm losing time in these strange days,
but somehow I always know the right things to say.

Do i believe what i can't see?
and how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause i can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the pain.
And just when I think I know, there she goes....

I'm still smiling as the day goes by,
and how come nobody ever knows the reasons why?
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see.
If your like me, who wears a broken heart on your sleeve,
Pains and struggles that you know so well,
Either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell.
I'm not the type to say i told you so,
Sometimes...lovin a person is to let go of them...

And you can sing until there's no song left
And I can scream until the world goes deaf
For every other word left unsaid,

My Will

If i die....I just want all u peeps that i live in a life that is so unknown to ppl....
Maybe i die with no pain...Who noes....
Sayang...jus want u to noe how much i love u..there's no words that can decribe it...
I'm soree if we fight...
mayb itz my fault....
Don cry for me anymore....
Itz ok i'm very use to it....
Mayb...
We'll meet each other again somewhere....
But DON WORRY...
Tis is jus a pre-caution.....Jus IN CASE I GO...

Tears that fell are useless....

Watching the stars till they're gone.
Like an actor all alone.
Acting in his own twisted life...
Who will ever know the story he was in.
Who will ever know how the story ends....
Like the sky reflecting his heart.
All the colours become visible.
When the morning begins, He'll read the last line...
The last line who he doubt anybody will care....

loneliness of your silenced whisper....

I hear a knock on the door,

closing in on my eyes,

lost in the consciousness is your whisper,

Over coming a melting heart,

a faded portrait reflects my disappearing memories.

At once and still chaotic,

hateful black heart,

closes in on me.

A sharp, transient feeling,

in a single wave,

becomes a hysterical wind.

Stopping tears and held in feelingsin a colourless silence.

I've nothing to lose,

except your heart.

Blood flows from your wrists and body

into the distant seas of time....

Will the past repeat itself again??

I'll never walk alone again,
the winds of time are to strong.
Ah, it's that what you hurts,
which you'll have to live with...
Ah, this tight embrace,
and this burning,
unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time,
love will never change.
Will you hold my heart?
Stop flowing tears.
Again, all of my heart is broken....

No need to be hurt no more

Oh? I'm looking at you,
can't control myself
nothing but pain for me.
Wipe your tears,
from your eyes.
Just leave and forget me.

No need to be hurt anymore.
Go away from me now,
I didn't know, what is love?
No need to be hurt anymore

You said "I miss you so much."
Every night, thinking of you,
and facing loneliness.
But when you feel sadness, n
ever can I stay with you.
I'm not the one you need.

Close your eyes and forget me.
There's nothing I can do anymore.
I've lost my way...
I've been walking in the night of tears.
There, I found someone was holding you.
As the night was all falling down.
With my love also vanished my vision of you...
My heart is cold now.
Wipe your tears,
from your eyes.
Just leave,
and forget me.
No need to be hurt,
anymore.

.

Hurt so much...

Wipe your tears falling down...
from your eyes, and forget me.
No need to be hurted anymore.
Go away from me now ...

I don't know, what is love?
No need to be hurted anymore.
Oh, I'm looking at you. I
I'll lose control of myself.

Hey there....
I'm so.....so.....so bored...haiz....sleepy too
Jus now came home from skool...nev go MT choice....
Then bought a new skool shoe....YEAH!!!!finally...had been wearin that same old pair of adidas shoe for 2 yrs already...hehehe..NGAH NAZAK tat shoe....Haiz....Still very stresss.....VERY STRESS!!...I wanna scream!!....AH!!!!.....taday she got scolded by her parents....for something she did not do...Haiz...i worry bout her...tried callling but her prepaid low already...haiz....if u read tis sayang plz call my handphone..haven't heard u for hours

Cryin in deep red.....

Amir......Like i said.....Everythings seems fine but...wat goes on underneath me ....only i will noe...

My heart...
Is breaking apart...
When is my time to go...
When will you take it away?
I wanna go rest...
In peace...
6 feet under or deeper...
Living in the valley of the shadow...
Where my past will be the treasure of my twisted and mangle wreckage.....Of my life...

Still bleeding...internally

Hey there....

I'm feeling realli bored rite now....In F&N class....people are like all doin their work except me...TOO STRESS!!!! HEHE......Haiz...jus sms her...didn't reply...she must be bz...don wanna disturb her....HAiz....nowadayz people are always bz.....Wat to do....Feeling very down nowadays...She sometimes giving me the cold shoulder....I dunnoe why...I made a mistake...i'm sorry....I never meant to do it...U made mistakes too...I just undrstand...Am i living in a one sided love world???

Silenced Jealousy

I'm looking for you,
trying to reach your roses,
carried away by the time.

Playing with the silent madness.
You've gone away from the stage,
leaving no words,
there's just fake tears left.

Looking for that bouquet of roses
that are admired through false pearls.
I'm blind insane,
in the red of silence,
now I've lost your love

Look at me,
I'm stained to my fingertips in deep red.
I can't stand this song of silence.
Flowing into the sea of phantom images.
Even if I hold my heart,
the blood stained angel that has arisen.
I cannot stop.

Silent jealousy,
don't you leave me alone.
Falling into sadness,
adored by love,
that I can't return to.
Into this repetitive solitude.
Tell me true,
where ever I go,
I must learn to love this pain.
I still want your love,
stop your love.
Silence the memories where the madness grows.

Silent jealousy,
fall into a dream.
Keep holding on to the memory,
to the dream.
Silent jealousy,
don't you leave me alone.
Fading into sadness
... kill me love....

Hurt me!!!

In endless rain, I've been walking.
Like a poet feeling pain
Trying to find the answers,trying to hide the tears.
But it was a circle that never ends.
When the rain stops, I'll turn the page, the page of the first chapter...

I'm only hurt.
Hurt me.The answer I should have understood.
Why am I still asking the question.

Am I wrong to be hurt?
Am I wrong to feel pain?
Am I wrong to be in the rain?
Am I wrong to wish the night won't end?
Am I wrong to cry?
But I know, it's not wrong to sing the last song,
cause forever fades...

Endless rain embraced me.
Night approaches morning, my heart is not yet soaked.
I'm only hurt.
Hurt me.
The answer I should have understood.
Why am I still asking the question.......

Tears

Where do we go after we're separated
Now that hanging question has passed
On an endless night, I dreamt of a journey
I gazed at the foreign skiesand embraced the loneliness
Tears always flow with the winds of time
It's not over, feel your sigh.

Dry your tears with love
Loneliness, your silent whisperfills a river of tears through the night
Memory, you never let me cry and you, you never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates,never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart

X-Japan.....Song....TEARS....

Sunset

the sun seems so beautiful rite now...
Glowing in its red ring which is like a thousand rubies....
I wish i'm with you rite now.....

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by. As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me. You're just an illusion. When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep.

The dream is over. I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words. Floating off tear stained walls. So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...until I can forget your love.

the endless rain caught me unguarded....Witout a umberella

Today can never be worst.......Sayang kept talkin bout her ex.....Made me a little jealous....But maybe she's jus missin him a little....then it rained so heavily.....as if the weather knew what was goin in my head......As i walk alone home.....I kept thinkin about the song endless rain*....i felt like cryin....I'm walking in the rain, though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason.....

I ask myself.....
Why mus the endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul....